


Caught In The Way You Got Me

by NeutralGenius



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-10
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2019-02-12 21:33:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12968856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeutralGenius/pseuds/NeutralGenius
Summary: Kokichi is approached by a ridiculously tall, yet intriguing, stranger who asks him to be his boyfriend in order to allude some girl who won't take no for an answer.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My partner Vince got me sucked into oumota hell and has also inspired me to try my hand at writing fanfiction again and so I present whatever this is gonna turn out to be. I didn't expect to be writing a fake boyfriend AU but when inspiration strikes you gotta grab it by the horns and ride it out.
> 
> Constructive criticism and feedback is always encouraged!

“Hey, you. Can you pretend to be my boyfriend?”

“Haha, excuse me, _what?_ ”

Kokichi scans his eyes over the ridiculously tall person standing in front of him, drinking in every last detail. They weren’t _too_ bad to look at, he supposes. Broad shoulders, average build, a very nice jawline that he can easily see himself running his fingers along if this was any other situation. Even their goatee and weirdly spiked hair doesn’t disway him too much. The one arm out of the leather jacket might, but he’s bored and the other seems like they’ll be a good time. And the subtle hint of desperation under their optimistic smile draws him in.

“Just pretend to be my boyfriend.”

“Hmm, I dunno. Who even _are_ you?”

“I.. seriously? Kaito Momota? Legendary of the Stars?”

He curls his hand to examine his fingers, twists his wrist, spreads his fingers out, and wiggles them a bit before looking this Kaito person in the eye as best as he can considering their height difference. “Mmm, yeah, I’ve _never_ heard of you.”

“I..” Kaito shakes his head. “Whatever. That doesn’t matter. I just need you to play boyfriend for a bit.” He pauses, and Kokichi can see the desperation starting to blossom. It’s a good look on him. “Please?”

He shrugs before crossing his arms. “I dunno, seems kinda _boring_ . Why would _I_ want to pretend to be _your_ boyfriend?”

Kaito glances away towards the crowd before looking back at Kokichi, the desperation now tinting those lilac eyes. “Cus I’m Kaito Momota!”

“I just told you, silly, I haven’t even _heard_ of you.”

“Look, please, just help a guy out would ya?” He tries to smile at him, but Kokichi can see the emotions he’s trying to hide so easily. The desperation now mixes with irritation, impatience, and he can’t help but want to see more of it.

“Fine, fine. This party was starting to get dull anyway. But you’ve gotta pay me.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yup! We can discuss payment afterwards~” And with that, Kokichi takes Kaito’s hand in his and revels at how tense the other gets. _Oh? Perhaps he doesn’t actually swing that way. How interesting!_

Just at that moment, a girl with above average looks comes bouncing up to them, a playful smile on her pink-tinted lips, eyes starry with optimism dancing in her eyes as she gazes at Kaito like he’s the best thing since sliced bread. All illusion and fantasy drops the second she sees them holding hands. Kokichi enjoys the way her lip curls slightly at the sight of them, how quickly the romantic vulnerability her aura was oozing mere seconds ago is blocked up by a wall of cold, disapproving ice.

“Oh.” Her tone is flat. “I guess you weren't lying.”

Kaito’s smile can almost crack under how much he’s forcing it, Kokichi notes with glee. “Haha yup! This here is my boyfriend. My very adorable boyfriend with whom I have a very serious, committed, closed relationship.”

Kokichi let’s go of his hand and wraps his arms around Kaito’s waist, snuggling his face against his side. He can hear the other’s breath hitch and it sends a delighted shiver down his spine. “Isn’t Kaito, likes, _totes_ adorbs? He’s such a snack. I’m _sooo_ lucky to have snagged such a catch~!”

“Yeah..” The girl’s brows crease as she frowns. “Completely lucky.”

Kaito let’s out a sigh of relief. “So are you and your friends gonna leave me alone then?”

“I guess.” She chews at her lip, causing some of her lipstick to come off. “But, like, there’s no _way_ you’re just into guys right? I can't believe _the_ Kaito Momota is _gay_.”

With his ear pressed against his side, Kokichi can hear the other’s heartbeat quicken. _Ah, the sweet melody of a novice liar._

Kaito laughs and drops his arm around the smaller boy, pulling him in closer to his side. “Haha yup! Kaito Momota, lover of the stars and men.”

“I don't believe you.”

He falters. Panic is a good look on him. “What?”

The girl repeats herself. “You heard me. I don't believe you. And I won't until you kiss him.”

Kaito chokes. Kokichi rolls his eyes. “Jeez you’re so persistent aren't you? Why can't you take no for an answer and, like, stop trying to ruin our relationship? But _fiiine_ we’ll perform a kiss for you so you can go back to your little vulture friends and go try to pick on another nice, vulnerable hot guy, _riiight_ Kaito-chan~?” He starts snaking his hand up the other’s chest, enjoying the hammering of his heart against his palm, the tightness of his muscles. There’s no way the other wants to kiss him.

“Y-yeah. Right.”

It’s very natural, however, the way Kaito leans down so it’s easier for him to wrap his arms around his neck, and for a brief second he’s impressed not only by the courtesy but by the other’s acting as well. Despite the words from earlier sounding too forced, this feels _much_ different, and a pool of fear and anxiety collects in Kokichi’s stomach before he pushes it away, closes the gap between them, and smashes his lips against the other’s.

They’re warm, and soft, and the weird anxiety isn’t going away. It feels like Kaito is actually melting into the kiss, which makes Kokichi’s heart start to pound, and when the other pulls him close he gasps against his lips.

It’s his turn to tense about things.

It feels like an eternity passes before Kaito let’s go. The redness coloring his cheeks and the intense sincerity that colors his eyes makes Kokichi want to bolt.

The girl is glaring at them. “Ugh ok _fine_ I believe you now. Such a waste of a hot guy. Whatever.” She turns on her heel and disappears back into the party crowd.

“Woo boy! I wasn't expecting that!” Kaito slaps him on the back, a giant stupid grin back on his face. He’s acting like they’ve just gotten away with a crime, and not like they’re two strangers that just shared an oddly genuine, intimate moment that was _supposed_ to be acting. “Good job, uh…” The smile drops. Kokichi’s stomach is doing back flips. “I never did get your name.”

No, it’s the host of an entire goddamn circus act. He has to get away from Kaito, and fast.

“Oh, haha, my name doesn't matter!” He beams up at him in an attempt to cover up the cocktail of feelings rushing through every fiber of his existence. It’s just a kiss, a job. Nothing more, nothing less. After tonight he’ll never see Kaito Momota ever again. “Anyway, thanks for making this party interesting for a few seconds, but I'm bored again so I’m, like, gonna go now, kay?”

Kokichi gives him a little wave and turns to leave. It takes all his strength not to burst through the crowd at a run.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 aka In Which Ouma Keeps Running From People. This took longer than I expected. Depression punched me in the face and I started an internship at a 3D printing business where I'm currently redesigning the website. So I've been left pretty exhausted. But! Here we be.
> 
> Also if you're looking for some sweet oumota jams my partner Vince made an [A+ playlist](https://8tracks.com/jacynon/g-c-l-d)
> 
> Constructive criticism and feedback are always appreciated!

Kokichi blinks slowly, lazily, letting the morning light spilling in through the kitchen window blind him in an attempt to feel more awake. He inhales, and the rich scent of coffee reaches him, enveloping him in a familiar comfort. Utensils click against each other as his roommate prepares them breakfast.

“I thought we talked about the whole no pants thing,” Shuuichi says, finishing up the omurice, being a little too careful about how he swirls the ketchup on, Kokichi notes.

“Ugh but it’s so _hooot,_ ” he whines, pressing his face against the blissfully cool countertop. “Besides what does it matter. Not like you got the hots for me or anything.”

He can hear how the plate thuds against the counter, can almost picture Shuuichi just barely miss putting it down properly, and is sure that if he lifted his head he’d see the faintest pink on his roommate’s face.

“Nyeheheh. With reactions like that, Shuuichi, you really make a guy think otherwise.” Kokichi looks up at him, a big old grin on his face, but he was right. There’s a faint blush. “But I know, I know. You’ve got your heart set on that pianist from your English class and you _still_ haven't thanked me for that elaborate plan so you two’d bump into each other at that party.”

“I, ah, yeah. Thank you, Kokichi.”

He sticks his tongue out at him before snatching the plate out of his hands and pulling it towards himself. “So, _anyway_ , guess who _I_ met at that shindig I went to last night.”

“Someone interesting?” Shuuichi offers, smiling awkwardly.

Kokichi pokes at his food. “Well duh why else would I tell you? Since when do I talk about _boring_ people?”

“I guess you have a point.”

“It’s actually _another_ person you’re kinda obsessed with.”

Shuuichi chokes on his food. “I-I don't _obsess_ over people. You.. don't think I’m obsessing over Kaede do you?”

Kokichi rolls his eyes. “Of course you’re obsessed with her, you’re totally in love with her to the point it’s disgusting. But, _nooo_ I’m referring to your little YouTube celebrity crush.”

He starts to shove the food in his mouth as he watches Shuuichi really think about who on Earth he can possibly mean. It’s always fun watching him think, the way his brows knit in concentration, his eyes intensely focused on one spot, his mouth slightly open. Kokichi sometimes wonders if, maybe in a different life, in a different universe, the feelings he used to hold for his old friend had actually resulted in a relationship.

But that's boring to think about.

“I’m.. at a loss, I’m afraid,” Shuuichi finally responds, bringing Kokichi’s attention back to this reality.

“Pfft, how poorly do you know yourself?”

“Cut me some slack, ok? I’ve been focused on school and--”

“Kaede”

Shuuichi frowns but keeps talking. “And I haven't really had time to keep up with my interests, so I guess I’ve.. kinda forgotten?”

Kokichi rolls his eyes and sighs. “You are so impossible sometimes, Shuuichi. You’ve even got some dumb motivational poster of his.”

The realization slowly hitting his roommate is almost as good as the desperation he was able to witness last night with “Kaito Momota.”

“Ding ding ding!” Kokichi dramatically throws his arm up with fork in hand, and does an over the top motion before pointing the utensil at Shuuichi. “We have a winner!”

Shuuichi is staring down at his breakfast in disbelief. “I knew he lived close to the area but I never thought…” He looks up at Kokichi and his hyena grin, and frowns. “No. You’re just trying to pull my leg.”

Kokichi’s face falls flat. “Boo you’re no fun.” He pokes at his rice omelet before pushing the plate aside. “But whatever! I’m gonna go out to eat. I’m like so bored of this food.”

“Kokichi wait--”

But he’s already dashing off to his room in search of pants.

* * *

In truth, he didn't mean to be rude to Shuuichi like that, he reflects as he takes the long way to his favorite café. It had just been so disheartening that his very first assumption was that he was _lying_ to him. Sure, he has a habit of embellishing about his adventures, but when it came to things and people he cared about, Kokichi did his best to be genuine. They’re childhood friends after all. What does he gain from lying to him? He’s not even sure why he didn't just push through and go on with recounting last night. It wasn't the first time Shuuichi didn't instantly believe him.

“Stupid Shuuichi,” he mumbles to himself, kicking at some gravel that’d spilled onto the sidewalk. “Stupid Kaito.”

He spends the rest of the walk not really thinking, numbing any connection he feels to himself and the outside world, hardly registering the sun on his skin, or who he’s walking by as he makes his way to his favorite café. The only thing that breaks him out of this spell is the loud greeting he receives upon entering the café.”

“There ya are you tiny freak,” Miu calls out, leaning across the counter, pulling in the attention from the few customers there not only from the volume of her voice, but the volume of her chest threatening to spill from her top’s low cut. Kokichi’s sure if her manager was here she’d be fired, but the manager never seemed to come in. “Gawd what took you so long? Were you and your roommate jackin it together huh?”

“Only in your dreams, Miu~” He replies, forcing a smile. “Should you even be talking like that? You can't afford to get fired with a face like that.”

“Ah, cut the crap. No one here cares, right?”

None of the customers respond.

“Hey! You dumbshits! I’m talking to ya!”

Kokichi snorts, and before he can ask his usual question of how on earth she got this job, someone is tapping his shoulder. “Ugh what is it, don't you know it’s rude to--”

Kaito is standing behind him. Never before has he understood the phrase “knees weak, arms spaghetti” until this very moment.  The innocent, clueless look on his face makes him burn with something that he can't quite pin down as anger or attraction.

“Is she bothering you?” Kaito asks.

Miu responds. “Pft as if! He’s my best fucking friend. Who the fuck are you?”

“Seriously? Have _none_ of you heard of me? Kaito Momota, Legendary of the Stars, Astronaut in Training, Youtuber?”

“Oh! You’re that ugly bastard Kokichi’s roommate is obsessed with.”

If the floor could open and swallow him whole that’d be great right now. But instead he gives both of them a nice, big, fake smile. “Ahaha, well, I guess I should get going~! Got a _biiiig_ day planned and I’ve already wasted too much time talking to you losers.”

He tries to make an exit for the door, but Kaito grabs onto his wrist. The contact sends a jolt through his body and every fiber of his being is screaming at him to run.

But he doesn't.

“You haven't ordered anything yet,” Kaito points out. “And I still owe you for yesterday. I don't break promises you know. So I’ll buy your drink and then I’ll pay you.”

Kokichi sighs, and pulls free from the other’s grip. “Ugh fine.”

Every second drags on. The sound of their order falling from Kaito’s lips thuds heavily against his eardrums. Miu’s insults and weird innuendos drip like molasses over the situation. The exchange of wadded up cash and movements of hands is like watching paint dry. Jitteriness and the need to escape drench Kokichi’s senses.

When Kaito hands him his drink, he let’s go of the breath he didn't realize he was holding.

“Everything ok?”

“Yup!” He gives Kaito yet another big old smile. “Thanks for paying for my drink but I _really_ gotta get going. Big day, like I said.”

“What about paying you for last night?”

Kokicihi thanks his lucky stars Miu is busy with another customer. He’s sure that she’d make a comment about him having a new side hustle as a whore. As if he’d sleep with someone as idiotic as Kaito Momota.

“Kokichi? Did you hear me?”

“Huh? What? Oh the payment.” He grins slyly at him. “That was a lie! Just like how I lied about not knowing who you are. That's what I do, you see. I’m a liar.”

Kaito’s stupid dumb purple eyes feel like they’re boring into him as the big stupid idiot stands there, staring at him, as if that's the hardest information he’s ever had to process. Kokichi loudly sips on his coffee, burning his mouth but ignoring the pain, but keeps himself rooted firmly in front of Kaito. _Why aren't you running! Now’s your chance. You got a free drink now fucking leave before he starts--_

Kaito opens his mouth. “So, why then? Why help me?”

Kokichi rolls his eyes. “Ugh I told you at the party, numbnuts, I was just bored ok?”

“You.. weren't using me were you?”

He snorts. “Oh _that’s_ rich, coming from you. _You’re_ the one who used _me_ if we’re gonna go that route. Pretending to be gay cus you can't properly turn a girl down or tell her how you _really_ feel. I bet you lied to me about how demanding she was because you didn't have the heart to be directly mean to an adoring fan, even though deceiving her like that is like _waaay_ worse.”

“Why the fuck would I lie about that? The fuck is your problem?!”

Kokichi shrugs, and he’s not sure if it’s the coffee or the rush he’s getting from lashing out at Kaito, but he feels _great_ . “Why _wouldn't_ you lie about that? I don't _know_ you, Kaito. Your own persona could be fake for all I know, though that honestly wouldn't surprise me. I mean, what internet celebrity isn't fake as fuck nowadays.”

Kaito’s snarling at him now, his drink dangerously close to being crushed. “Who the _fuck_ do you think you are to be flinging this verbal shit at me, you fucking pipsqueak.”

“Why, I’m Kokichi Ouma, Legendary of Lies, and I’ll be _leaving_ now. Don't bother me anymore. Enjoy your little fake celebrity life. I hope you get swallowed up by a black hole in space.”

With that, he turns on his heel and walks through the door, curious if Kaito is going to follow him. He’s on edge in anticipation, waiting to hear a shout, to feel a fist colliding with his back or his face, because Kaito Momota _looks_ like a puncher, but nothing happens. The excitement, the adrenaline, all boils down to nothingness with each step toward home he takes, with each step that doesn't have Kaito hot on his heels.

There’s nothing but an empty feeling and a cold coffee.


End file.
